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Overcoming heartache - tips and support

Almost everyone experiences at least one heartache in their life. Although the heartache is often accompanied by psychological and physical symptoms, this form of suffering is rarely seen in a medical context. However, particularly severe forms are considered to be part of a medical complaint, which is described in the specialist literature under the term “broken heart syndrome” and which can have serious physical consequences.

The particular complaints of heartache that come with it and how long it lasts before the gaze can again be confidently directed forward is very individual and depends not least on previous experience and learned coping strategies. You will find some help, consolation of the soul and gentle means from naturopathy that can facilitate the process of heartache, further down in this article.

Dealing with separation pain

Although most people are confronted with lovesickness in their lives, there are enormous differences in the perception and coping with this depressing emotional state. Many sufferers can overcome the heartache over time without further help, but for others the heartache can also take the form of a Broken Heart Syndrome (Takotsubo syndrome; reversible cardiomyopathy,) manifest physically and become a life-threatening risk. In addition, young people in particular are particularly at risk of suicide if they have lovesickness and heart pain is the most common reason for suicide among adolescents and young adults.

Heartache is always different

Heartache always arises when our love is not or no longer returned, usually he reports after a separation. The abandoned person, who often remains “as if struck by lightning”, is particularly affected by grief. The sensations and reactions are similar to those that we also experience as mourning reactions after the death of a loved one, although the pain of love after a separation lacks the finality of death. But no matter how hard you try to objectify the process from the outside, everyone feels their love pain as unique.

Heartache - symptoms

Heartache can lead to various physical and mental complaints. Internal restlessness and brooding often cause sleep disorders, which in turn lead to tiredness, exhaustion and difficulty concentrating during the day. The appetite subsides or the attempt to release the body's own happiness hormones through chocolate intake ends in indomitable cravings.

The heart feels "heavy" or "torn" and it is not uncommon for the heart pain to be clearly felt physically. In the worst case, this can manifest itself in Takotsubo syndrome, a reversible cardiomyopathy that is similar in symptoms to an acute coronary syndrome. Serious physical impairments can then be seen, which can go as far as life-threatening cardiogenic shock. If necessary, intensive medical care of the affected is therefore necessary here.

The stomach also contracts sometimes with lovesickness, nausea and abdominal pain can develop. Mostly, the heartache is accompanied by a loss of self-esteem and depressive moods, which, however, can also result in ongoing depression and thoughts of suicide.

What helps against lovesickness?

In most cases, time heals the wounds. On the path to healing, we react in the way we usually do with emotional stress and profound changes. Sometimes with fear, self-reproach and feelings of guilt, sometimes with anger, defense, blaming and vengefulness. While one tries to understand the conversation, others withdraw and “braise in their own juice”. Heartache can last for weeks, months or years. It is only when we accept the loss and integrate the past relationship into our “inner wealth of experience” that we can once again look ahead to the future and open ourselves to a new partnership. If we get emotionally or mentally stuck in despair, hope, the beautiful past, hate or depression, this is sometimes an indication of inadequate coping strategies, such as those that were often learned or not learned in previous relationships, for example in one's own family of origin. Then it can make sense to have a piece professionally accompanied.

Naturopathy for lovesickness

The well-known Hildegard von Bingen mixed her "stork-beak-mixed powder" from geraniums, pennyroyals and rhombuses together a thousand years ago in order to alleviate heart problems that arose from sadness and pessimism. It can be assumed that numerous love patients with heart pain also benefited from this mixture at that time.

The rose was considered a flower of love in ancient times. Condensed to rose water, the scent of its flowers is said to open mind and heart and soothe heated feelings. A pleasantly tempered bath with colored rose petals can help the senses to strengthen (again) self-love. Likewise, an injured heart should recover with a drop of rose oil, which is applied to the middle of the breastbone several times a day.

Today many other flowers are known, which are said to have a balancing effect on soul life. Bach flower therapy can also support the processing of lovesickness. As a real "comforter" Star of Bethlehem known to accompany the grief until the greatest pain subsides. Hate and anger prevail, can Holly cool the mind while White chestnut helps to focus on other things again. Those who indulge in the past may need it Honeysuckleto step into the present. Confidence and optimism can help Gentian be woken up and when the willingness to change has already developed inside Walnut often the stepping stone into a new phase of life.

Stories with therapeutic power

Since people have been using language, life experiences have been passed on in stories and stories. Although this tradition has become increasingly rare in everyday life in Germany, a psychotherapeutic branch has developed in recent years that deals with the healing power of stories and metaphors. These healing stories have a rather indirect and suggestive effect, they should not be analyzed but rather taken up intuitively and set internal processes in motion. (jvs, fp)

Author and source information

This text corresponds to the specifications of the medical literature, medical guidelines and current studies and has been checked by medical doctors.


  • Cornelia Stern: From the plant kingdom to slumberland; in German alternative practitioner magazine 14 (01): 30-35, January 2019
  • Hugo A. Katus, Benjamin Meder, Ioana Barb: Broken-Heart - When women's hearts break (accessed September 12, 2019),
  • Susanne A. Schlossbauer, Jelena-Rima Ghadri, Christian Templin: Takotsubo syndrome - a frequently misunderstood clinical picture; in practice, 105 (20): pages 1185-1192, 2016,
  • Karl-Heinz Renner, Tanja Gügel: personality correlates and coping strategies for lovesickness; in contributions to the 10th workshop of the specialist group differential psychology, personality psychology and psychological diagnostics, Pabst Science Publishers, 2009,

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